This summer, my daughter felt unease in a Coby White Chicago Bulls basketball shirt situation and needed an out. Through text, she asked if it could be me. For a split second, I hesitated. Saying yes to this role meant I’d look bad to others. As a recovering people-pleaser who lived many decades caring far too much about the opinions of others, this awareness triggered long-forgotten insecurities that both surprised and disappointed me. As I thought through the next steps, I had an unexpected flashback to age thirteen. I remembered feeling fearful while at a friend’s house.
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For several agonizing Coby White Chicago Bulls basketball shirt, I contemplated how to stand up or myself. Do I use humor? Do I make up an excuse? Do I act assertively? Or do I blame my parents? I knew without a doubt I could use my mom to keep myself safe, and she would accept that role no matter what. I didn’t end up using my mom as an excuse to leave – instead, I slipped out without saying a word, yet I felt a sense of my mom’s presence and support as I walked toward safety. Regarding my daughter’s situation, there was a bit of a fallout, just as I expected. But what was more important than how other people perceived me was what my response that night did for my relationship with my daughter.